I Am Tiramisu

First, can someone please tell Josh Duhamel to please stop standing that way. You see, last night was my first night out after being couped up in bed with a flu. So I need my blood pressure to be just right...ok? Thank you. Will talk about you later, ok?

When it comes to Michael Bay films it's good that I don't google before watching them. The Transformers franchise most especially. A really really good thing. It keeps me amused, surprised and, well, a satisfied customer.

If you haven't seen the latest installment yet and don't want the moment to be spoiled for you, I suggest maybe skip this blog entry for now.

Although I'm not really one to be giving a formal short sweet rotten tomatoes kinda of review here actually.

For fun, you can read on.

Award winner Frances McDormand is Secretary of Defense Charlotte Mearing: "Stop calling me ma'am. Do I look like a ma'am?"

I always love her!

(only new leading girl, Carly, played by Rosie Huntington-Whiteley inocently answers her point blank: "yes")

Hmm...just a little bit of make up thought and hair pins. Really, it doesn't hurt. I mean, you know, it's always good to have put together looking department heads. Oh, but mind you, she's the one with the bags. No, I mean, really, the bags. You know, those thingy you put some of your stuff and carry around? She has the 2nd and 3rd bag. Her assistant played by Keiko Agena (Asian, no surprise there, talk about typecasting...) carries them.

Mearing:"Give me the bag"

Assist: (struggles with bags on her arms)"Which bag?" (panting)

Mearing:"Greeeenn HERMES Birkin (breaths) Ostrich!" (sighs)

What she purposely lacks in the cosmetics department, she makes up in the accessory dept.

Her other bag is a Louis Vuitton. I kept trying to figure out her shoes after that. Was just wondering if they gave some preference on that department too. Hmmm...apparently not.

Oh well, she is afterall "...the director of National Intelligence (pauses) I'm a big fan of intelligent answers."

So. ...La di da di da...let's do our little girly hops now in the meadow of white daisies shall we?

Lt. Col. Wiliam Lennox a.k.a. Josh Duhamel:

No, no, no...it's illegal to pose like that. C'mon! Hahahaha! He's back. Suave, tough and handsome as ever. Yep, he goes into the battle zone of course.

Ohhh, Sam's first boss. The big gun in the mail room. Bruce Brazos. Being John Malkovich, he is so! Love him!

"It's all visual."

Transformers 3 is action! I was exhausted actually. With all them transforming, running, falling, flying...not dying...

Hehehe...how the world has changed ha? Used to be that when you go free sliding on the side of a tilting building with glass walls meant certain death. These days you can always count on your pistol (which you have miraculously been able to hold on to inspite of) to shoot thru and break the glass walls so you could jump right into them.

Not to mention base jumping out from choppers and flying in sync like some graceful seagulls along the Chicago skyline is weirdly beautiful...

That chopper scene, really had me going. I just want them young brave soldiers out of them burning flying thingys!!! Ahihihi...

Whew.

(pause)

Well, hello there Dr. McDreamy, sir. Or...former race car star with an awesome car collection Dylan Gould... there was really no more good guy role so you had to be the Mr McBad Guy... which worked fine for me actually. Rough!

Ok, moving on.

HEY! Who's the smarty pants who put this dreamy whammy photo of Patrick Dempsey on this blog?!!! You're fired!

I kid, I kid. Ahihii

Ron and Judy Witwicky are visiting dear son Sam in D.C. They're as perky as ever. Well, at least the mom is. The parents always provided the slapsticks. In some weird way, they got away with it, in my book at least. In this film, they only got to do some bits here and there. Even the mom's voice has become...jumpy, instead of the cute crazy nagging perky cheerful voice.

Rosie Huntington-Whitely.

Victoria Secret model.

Simply stunning.

Nothing spectacular or wrong with her acting either. I like her. She's beautiful...even without trying. I actually prefer the elegant beautiful. I'm pretty sure those little house robots wouldn't say she's mean.

Just too bad she had to be the one with the completely useless shot:

Although I get it now, she's supposed to be staring up to the bad robot with the injured face. You know, the scene where the lead character just stands, stares and breaths heavily, supposedly thinking about something... while cars and buildings are destroyed in the background...in slow mo. But this one I didn't get. After all those ruckus, they suddenly slide into this shot. It's quietness not 'quite' in sync with the whole picture. But lady, you are beautiful. Only you can pull thru a totally useless scene like that one. That's probably why it was your scene no?

Agent Seymour Simmons. Former, as emphasized by Charlotte Mearing (the lady with the very expensive green bag) agent Simmons. Still shaky, still shady. And yet, he actually ended up calling the shots in the HQ. Good for him!

You double gun slinger you! You almost had me there Dutch! The quiet assistant of Seymour Simmons. The computer hacking export saves the day.

"Good job, Dutch" --- Charlotte Mearing.

Of course, the mandatory slow mo walking of the heroes, in this case soldiers after the battle. You know, where they're looking like 'just doin' our job ma'am'

Hey...WHOA!

Wrong movie!

Ahihihi...I was just kidding. But you get the picture.

Oh there you are:

Whew, I'm glad you guys are ok. Hahahahahaha!

That teleportation of the Cybertron was really scary ha? That would have been really messy.

Well, verdict?

If for some reason you sat thru the two previous installments, what's 2 hours more ha?

Besides if you're looking for any "character development" (Im saying this with the quote and quote finger movements for emphasis), you'd have realized in the second movie, this isn't the franchise to expect it.

I mean hey, it's robots. Who transform from just about any vehicle or flat screen tv. The guy has graduated from college and has landed his first job. How lucky could this guy be, with 2 incredibly beautiful (and hot, I'm not comfortable saying 'hot') girlfriends. The first 3 minutes in the opening scene, you know a good storyline is somewhere else when the first conversation of their day begins with a big white rabbit doll.

That said, I like the movie. It's entertaining. I like Shia Labeouf's face. I'm friends with Megatron and Bumblebee. What's not to like?

Watch it by all means. In 3D.

Poor Chicago, it had to them. Almost being turned into Cybertron.

I wonder now: what was Oprah doing when all these were happening?